ʻOhana
by SSAEmilyHotchner
Summary: Oneshot: [Family]. They'd had something special since the two of them had been just children. But now, twenty-something years after the fact, Kono and Chin were drifting apart. Post-ep for 2x23 and 3x01, "Ua Hala" and "La O Na Makuahine".


**Author's Note: I've been fascinated with Kono's character ever since I started watching the show. It was inevitable, really; I always end up falling for and getting attached to the leading female brunette, and Kono is no exception. There's something else about her, though, that is so captivating (still waters run deep and all), and especially after watching 2x23 and 3x01, and of course 3x24, I just had to put this to paper. Her relationship with Chin is one of my favorites on TV, and after the conflict they were forced to endure all throughout season three...well, I just couldn't pass up such a golden opportunity to explore the emotions. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters.**

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The guilt was absolutely and unspeakably stifling.

They'd had something special since the two of them had been just children, since he had punched a bully in the face on her behalf – and broken a finger in the process because he hadn't known not to stick his thumb inside his fist. The bully had never come near seven-year-old Kono ever again, and it was then that she had begun to idolize Chin. He was the big brother she'd never had, her best friend, her hero. He had taught her everything he knew about police work as she went through the Academy later down the line. When she had blown out her knee and her professional surfing career met a bruising halt, Chin never once left her side. Kono hoped the favor had been at least slightly returned when she believed in him unwaveringly after his name and reputation had been wrongly dragged through the mud and he was kicked off the force. If she thought about it long and hard, the two of them had really been through it all.

But now, twenty-something years since that bully left Kono thankfully alone, she and Chin were drifting apart.

It was something she had never thought would happen; yet here they were. Chin was an empty shell of a man, and Kono? Even days later, she could still vividly feel the dirty saltwater burning her lungs, the pressure of the duct tape binding her hands and legs as she sunk lower and lower into her own personal hell. But she couldn't even think of that anymore, not as she tried in vain to meet the gaze of her beloved cousin from across the room.

The pain in his eyes was something she never wanted to see again. Kono wondered if they would ever recover from this; from the knowledge that, due to some cruel twist of fate, Malia had died and she had lived, while it really should have been the opposite. Was it somehow her fault then?

Did Chin see it that way?

She didn't think he did, but Kono knew nothing anymore, and his recent steely silence around her was beginning to seep under her skin. Briefly, she wondered if she was supposed to resent the fact that he had chosen his precious Malia over her in the first place. She didn't, because she knew his reasoning just like she had always known how he was feeling. _Kono is more likely to survive_, he had probably thought, _because of her training. Because of her knowledge of the ocean. Because of Adam._

Then again, he hadn't expected her to be bound and gagged.

Unbidden, a shiver raced down her spine at a particularly chilling thought, one that wasn't new to her, and probably wasn't to Chin either. What would he have done if neither she nor Malia had survived?

Kono immediately shook the parasitic idea away before she went in too deep, because she could feel herself sinking into that crushing sense of despair again, one where all she wanted to do was see the light leave Delano's eyes, and she knew it would do her no good. The fact of the matter was that she was alive. With one call to Adam, a call that had probably been impossibly tense, Chin had saved her life...though at a horrible expense. And no matter how much Kono wanted to reverse time and bring Malia back to make her cousin happy again...she couldn't.

Of their own volition, Kono's lungs burned as she gasped for air greedily; it was like the oxygen in the room had depleted in a heartbeat. There was no water around her to drown her, yet she felt as dizzy as she had in that very moment, and for a second, she wondered how Steve and Danny would react if she collapsed right then and there, a mere two feet from either one of them.

It took all of her strength to prevent her suddenly weak knees from buckling under the weight of her sadness and guilt, but in the end, she managed to stay upright. She managed to stand straighter because she knew her cousin would not be able to handle the bout of anxiety her collapse would cause.

When Kono finally looked up, forcing herself away from the macabre reverie, it was because she could feel his eyes on her; even though he was still a mile away on the other side of the room. Chin didn't look away this time, though their gazes still didn't meet. _Can he feel my discomfort? Can he read me just as easily as I had once been able to read him?_

Again, though she didn't have even the slightest idea that Chin was pondering the same things, Kono found herself asking: _Does he blame me?_ But this time, she wondered as well, _Would it be easier on us if he did?_

She found her answer in the form of Chin cutting Steve off mid-sentence by addressing her.

"Kono. Can I speak to you, please?"

She blinked, floored. Beside her, Danny glanced between the two of them, a stricken and worried look on his face that she was sure was echoed on Steve's. Fidgeting slightly, she swallowed – was she nervous? "Yeah, sure."

She allowed him to lead her out of Headquarters and onto the steps outside the front door. They sat there for a long moment before Chin finally spoke up.

"I don't blame you, you know," he said quietly, staring at his hands – at the wedding ring on the second finger of his left hand. "You have nothing to be sorry or regretful for."

Her composure began to crumble, and fast. "Chin –"

"I'm just glad you're alive. If I had lost both of you..." He made a strangled noise before caving and pulling her into his arms, crushing her against his chest. For a second, it was like they were kids again.

But there was something Kono could see in his eyes; a flicker of repentance and shame that belonged anywhere but in his gaze. So she took a leap of faith. "I don't blame you either," she whispered, her arms circling around his neck. She felt a shift within him then, like her words had broken him even further, and Kono suddenly couldn't prevent the tightness in the back of her throat. "_Oh, Chin._ You didn't really believe that I could – that I would fault you for something like this?"

The tenderness Chin found in her voice made it very difficult for him to speak for the longest moment. "I didn't know...I mean, I wasn't sure..." He held a hand to his mouth as he willed himself to regain his countenance. He was shaking his head when he spoke next._ "I miss her, Kono."_

A tear slipped down Kono's cheek and for the life of her, she couldn't tell if it was hers or Chin's. "I know you do. I know you do, cousin, and so do I." She paused, obviously hesitant. "I miss you, too."

Confused eyes found hers as he pulled back just enough to be able to really look at her. "I'm right here."

"And so am I." A thousand insecurities ran through her: _am I rushing him? Am I saying the right things?_ Her eyes flashed with a passion so fierce that he was momentarily blinded. "No matter what you need, I'll always be right here, do you understand me, Chin?" She was outright crying now but _she didn't care_ because so was he and they had seen each others tears before, too many times to count.

"I understand." Their embrace tightened. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you." _With all that I did, it still wasn't enough._

She shook her head, a wry, sad little smile touching the corners of her mouth. "You didn't need to be. Chin, you tried to save us both," she said with admiration. "You did everything you could have done. You were where you should have been, and you saved me regardless." _It was right for you to have been there with Malia for her last moments_, Kono wanted to add, but it wasn't necessary because he already knew.

"Thank God," Chin whispered, running a hand over his face and taking a deep breath before finding the strength to push himself up onto his feet; before getting up and starting anew.

Kono looked up at him, her eyes bright with the sheen of disappearing tears. "Yeah," she said simply, biting her bottom lip when Chin reached out for her and helped her up with a hand that wasn't trembling nearly as much as it had been before.

He cocked his head to the side, motioning behind them to Headquarters. "You want to take a moment before we go back inside?" he asked gently, watching as Kono brushed off her jeans and stretched her tired muscles.

"No, I'm good," she answered resolutely, a rush spreading through her as she realized just how true her response had become after their conversation. She was astute – or perhaps, cynical – enough to know that this would not be the last time they mentioned the Delano incident, but she was also optimistic enough to trust that things would only get better from here. "I'm good," Kono repeated, just to hear the words aloud. "And you, Chin?"

He smiled softly then, for the first time in weeks. "I will be." _Mahalo, cousin._

**THE END.**

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**Author's Note: ************Reviews are love! Please don't hesitate to leave some feedback; whether long or short, signed or anonymous, hearing your thoughts just about redefines happiness for me. **

**************At the risk of sounding overly profound, watching all of the episodes these past two or three weeks has introduced me to some of the greatest characters to incorporate into writing, and it's absolutely thrilling. Even better is knowing how well-received and welcomed I've been in this community. So thank you, all of you, for an incredible experience. I'm nowhere near done; at the moment, I have about ten more stories planned, with new ideas popping up every day. I hope you guys will stick around for those!**

**************Again, thank you for the support and I look forward to hearing what you thought of this piece!**


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